Wandering Souls

The Wandering Souls inhabit the realm of Scarlet Crusade on the world of Azeroth. This motley band of disparate characters strive to improve their lot in life, or the afterlife (depending on whether you are an undead or not), and that of their guildmates.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Table Dancer

She was getting desperate. Only a few more days till the Fashion Show and she needed to line up a few more votes. She climbed up on the pedestal and began a slow, intentionally suggestive dance in full battle gear. Unfortunately, her leather armor was dry and cracked from repeated runs into Molten Core and the scrunching and chafing noises it made as she gyrated seemed to lessen the effect that she was striving for. In fact, it seemed to be downright annoying.

Atohne: Gorkah, I can’t hear anything over your scrunching leather. Would you stop please, so I can hear Kaind and Dere describe how we’re going to take down this next boss!

Gorkah: As if you’re really paying attention, Atohne. You just don’t like seeing some serious competition.

Atohne: I’m just glad you’re wearing a mask to avoid frightening our raid members.

Eatem: That’s rude Atohne, and you’re a fine one to talk – Oh, Deceased One!

Dere and Shaine start to shy away from Atohne.

Dere: What kind of disease?

Eatem: I said deceased not diseased. But now that you mention it, she does have some kind of fungal rot in places better left unseen. However you should be safe, as long as you don’t get too intimate with her!

Atohne’s eyes could bore holes through Eatem’s skull. Oh, she wished that she’d kept Eatem's Eye of Flame after he'd discarded it, just for these occasions.

Atohne: Eatem, you told me that you’d keep your mouth shut about “our” problem.

Eatem: Well that salve you bought from Apothecary Helbrim isn’t working. I won’t have anything to put the salve on, if I can’t stop all this scratching and clawing!

Nobody said anything for a moment. A few people shied ever so slightly away from both Atohne and Eatem while Gorkah continued her slow scrunchy-sounding dance on the pedestal!

Kiyo: Your gear really could use a little extra care, Gorkah!

Smokesteel: I’d offer you some of my troll sweat. It works great to keep your leather smooth and supple. Unfortunately, things have been pretty easy so far. I haven’t worked up much of a lather!

Jembai: I bottle up Smoke’s sweat in crystal vials and get top dollar at the Auction House. The Forsaken are wild about it!

Dere: Elune works great on leather too; the night elf rogues rub it on their gear as well as their ears!

Gorkah: I wish I had known that. Kaind would have been happy to squeeze a few of their heads for Elune juice before we entered the Spire!

Shaine: Dere, how come you know so much about the Alliance folk anyway?

Dere: That’s a long story that would be better served along with an ale at the Inn in Booty Bay! (Editor's note: Derewoprevo has explained some of his background in this post: Willthethril )

Atohne: Jembai, please let Eatem have some of that troll sweat when you can spare some. That Gurubashi stuff he usually wears isn’t nearly as good.

Gorkah’s loved one, Kaind, was becoming impatient with all the dancing and discussion. He merely wanted to kill something as quickly and efficiently as possible. The whole fashion show fiasco was becoming a distraction for Gorkah and was starting to interfere with some serious bloodletting.

Kaind: Come on Gorkah, let’s get going!



Post a Comment

<< Home