Wandering Souls

The Wandering Souls inhabit the realm of Scarlet Crusade on the world of Azeroth. This motley band of disparate characters strive to improve their lot in life, or the afterlife (depending on whether you are an undead or not), and that of their guildmates.

Monday, April 10, 2006

The Commando Mission

Eatem: How come you didn’t heal anybody, Atohne?

Atohne: I was too busy examining these grime-encrusted objects and wondering how messy they were going to make my mooncloth bags. I made sure to put them all in one of my traveler’s backpacks. They’re dirty anyway!

Eatem: Why’d you pick them up anyway? You have to take them to one of the Sparklematic Washing Machines to get the grime off them and you detest using washing machines.

Atohne: I figured I could give them to Bart to wash. He seems eager to please!

Locksahn: We actually wiped in Gnomeregan! I’ll never be able to show my face in Orgrimmar. Imagine, an experienced team like ours actually wiping, when faced with these little glowy Gnomes!

Atohne: Well there was something like two hundred of them!

Eatem: What happened anyway?

Zarata: I’m sure it was Lock’s fault!

Bart: Nope, it was you Zarata! You were hanging over the handrail peering down below and checking out the view. You aggroed the whole place.

Locksahn: Well, as long as nobody says anything to anybody, our reputation will be secure. Otherwise, my hopes of getting on regular MC/ZG runs are toast!

Eatem: My lips are sealed!

Bart: I think I heard that before, Eatem. But, you’re still drooling all over the floor.

Atohne: Speaking of toast. I thought we were going to toast some gnomes. That’s the main reason, I came. Well, other than this ARCANE BOMBING mission. But, that was secondary.

Zarata: Speaking of the mission, Eatem, you should climb up into the cockpit while we get the bomb placed under the wing!

Eatem: Me, I thought the pilot was supposed to be hand-picked.

Locksahn: That’s why we rolled. You got the high roll, the honor is yours!

Eatem: I always get the high roll and I though we were rolling for that silly radioactive shirt that glows in the dark! Bart, seemed to think it would sell well at the auction house. Atohne didn’t even roll. She should roll too.

Atohne: I passed. I just came for some silk and toast! Honor means nothing to me.

Eatem: But, I don’t know how to fly this thing!

Bart flips open the glove compartment and extracts the operator’s manual. He hands it to Zarata, who flips through it and hands it to Eatem.

Zarata: Come on Eatem, you’re a quick study. The basic instructions are only three pages long!

Bart: Besides, here’s a parachute just in case something goes wrong!

Eatem: This parachute says “Hand Packed by Andawan.” Oh, I really don’t have a good feeling about this mission.

(Editor’s note: For those curious about Andawan’s parachutes, you might want to read about a former "fly-by-night" business enterprise that Andawan was running!)

Bart: Lock, the bomb’s in place. I think we’re ready. You should be able to turn Eatem into a Leper Gnome now. That should fool the Dwarves long enough to get the plane into the hanger in Ironforge.

Eatem: How do I get out, before the bomb goes off?

Lock, Bart and Zarata look at each other and then down at the ground. Atohne examines grime-encrusted objects in her traveler’s backpack.

Locksahn: You’ll think of something, Eatem!

Atohne: I also still think I’ve got that mortician’s card somewhere. He’s a master at putting bodies back together. Just look what he did with mine!

Eatem: As you are perfectly aware, that really is my body Atohne. Merely, your brain in my body! Just remember that!

Eatem with drooping shoulders, climbs up into the cockpit and Lock transforms him into a little greenish Leper Gnome. Eatem takes one last look at the operator’s manual and pushes the start button. The engine roars to life and the little plane starts to roll away. Bart, Lock and Zarata raise their fists high in the air, while Atohne kneels in prayer!

Bart, Locksahn, Zarata: For the Horde!

Atohne: You should have saved that roll, Eatem!

~ Atohne


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